there is a part of the equation whose absence does not make the heart grow fonder. physical passion. i'm all for all-consuming love, but you know what? i want a nigga to feel like he'd cross 77 seas to get to this Pussy. why? because that's the way it's supposed to be.
i'm a bit of a conundrum. a stone cold freak in my skin, but when it comes to letting dudes in? uhn un. can't do it. cause most dudes aren't fluid in the ways of sexual union. especially not in my section of the world. 'twas always the transplants that enhanced my dance. showed me sensuality and the fallacy of the "beat it up" mentality most dudes possess. i prefer to just rest my case in my bedroom...zoom off to some land where the bliss is like...no hands. and maaan...
it.is.all.good. under my hood.
i've had an almost blueprint relationship before. i say almost because even though we enjoyed each others' company immensely, there were many shadows standing in between. that betwixt had us mixed up. we'd fight like cats and dogs, tear we down with words. hurting each other for the Hell of it. getting physical and not in a fun, lite S&M sort of way. i don't even know why i played the game that long with his ass.
maybe i knew it was a Self-test i had to pass.
*shrugs* but it's over now...many years in the past. and i don't have any hard feelings because the reel shows me that he had wisdom to offer. experience. so i learned until i felt there was nothing else. and then i left. i tend to do that when the energy goes bad. the smooth taste don't fuel me anymore. so i again become a Fool for true love and scurry away.
some say it makes me cold, but i think it makes me smart. when you start a relationship you may think they're the One. but at some point it's not fun anymore. there are walls and secrets and lies and surprise, surprise...a reprise of the bullshit you thought you left behind in the other relationship. but no, all you've done is stuffed the ghosts deep down in the shell.
before you know it...boo! and them rose-colored glasses turn a shade of poo. lol.
so now i'm just playing exorcist, cutting and pasting things on my list...
and yes, whatever I want I gets.
trust.
Posted by Lisa at November 6, 2008 07:45 PM