so many words i could write; but which story to tell?
perhaps i'll spin a tale of a love so real and true, it rocked my inner world..awake. a study in duality - reciprocal and unrequited. missing pieces and parts. and for a time i was happy even with that.
but
something happened on my way through the woods, and i wanted More. beyond friendship into the undefinable, yet wholly acceptable. holy. grounded in sensuality. i craved the shape and texture of him. skin. lips. hair. eyes. i wanted to embed the taste of him in my tongue so that even if i had him just once...with a rub on the roof i could bring him back.
from the beginning, i knew if i got too close, the chances of the burn would increase. that is the danger any nighttime butterfly faces. i kept admirable control for a while; knowing he wasn't for me. i not for him either,with my kinky hair. curves meant more for lazy drives than pavement burning. a big, fluffy cat. not at all sleek.
though he knew nothing of my inner upheaval, i still wanted to apologize. how dare i sully this pristine partnership with carnal desire. oh how i wanted to be the good girl, the strong one who could resist his charms. no groupie chick was i, and it'd be proven. yeah, i thought i had the ice queen routine down pat...
but
something happened on my way through the woods, and i wanted Mor. especially when the dreams came.
i could feel him on me, in me, around me. everything at once. filled, stretched to capacity, but boundless in my capacity to receive more. dizzying spirals of heat and wet and teeth-gnashing intensity. starlight behind my eyelids. and when i rained i poured down on him.
and i'd wake up spent...wanton....unraveled...loose.
but
when i made it home he wasn't there. so i questioned my sanity. dismantled the illusion. built another house. cozy..
just a little lonely at times.
i tend to believe that Spirit would never allow me to experience such passion without purpose. S(he)'s the architect; there's room for more than me here.
So maybe...
on another walk through the woods...
i'll find Him...
and we shall walk back Home.
together.
Posted by Lisa at June 24, 2008 03:00 AM