so i met this dude. cayuuuute. pretty even. but naw...that wasn't the draw. it was what i saw. the light that fascinated me. around him i felt mothwoman. wanting to touch the fire. cautious though; keeping a safe, watchful distance.
even then i could feel the burn from waaaaaaay over here. never perceiving the conflagration to come.
so i hovered in gratitude. here was a friend, a soul which held the vibration of Home. to each other we were a haven. a healing waystation. and yet...more than willing crutches.
over time, i would find myself drawn into this inner space. a place where we felt...different. i am pretty sure i created new frown lines on my forehead, trying to figure this thing...this effinG thing out.
what.in.the.holy.hellll.was.this?!?!?
and then the revelation. "no. NOOOOOOO. lawd hold my mule whilst i try to shake off all this emotion. feeeelings i done caught. haaaaaalp!!"
*no answer*
"I SAID haaaaaaaaaaaaalp! you better take care of me, or you're going to have me on your hands!"
(but i don't even need hands when i feel IT. damn, is it like that? is it...is it reeeeeaaaally? ok sorry no. and don't even give me that other half rhetoric, cause i wasn't even looking! two Mes could never exist in the same bedroom. there are power grids to think of. and besides, we're just friends and...he can do better. right?)
(I SAID right?!??!?!)
*question does not compute. try again.*
man. O.G. can be cooooldblooded sometimes. just all leaving me to handle things on my own (seemingly).
i wasn't quite up to the job. so i ran. and when i hungered for what i now know to be the G-force in him; i would swallow the seeds from my secret garden. because i valued the connection so much, i couldn't bring myself to disturb the pool. i refused to reveal and thusly burden him with my own internal conflict. i'm telling you...shit got so deep i started looking out for the Four Horsemen.
also got into a little emotional eating. went to the ice cream shop and tested out some different flavors. and had many shit fits when none of them could compare.
next the clock. tick tock. mind rock. the boat. i feel dinghy. in the perfect storm. and plus those seeds and all them dairy products ain't quite working out. here comes the word vomit.
i will gloss over the following messy scene; as all the resulting anger, bitterness, sadness, projection and illusion was clearly part of ma and pa's hijinks and amusement plan. the purge before the merge.
ya gotta give em props though...waste products do make awesome fertilizer. and then that move where they puffed up the magic dragon that burned the house (which was really just a dilapidated shack) down?
fucking A(lpha)!
i thought it was Omega, but no it's not over. we got some eternal recurrence shit going down; though up is where we're headed. foundation laid for that deluxe loft/condo/mansion in the sky.
patience...the burn is so our wings can dry.
Posted by Lisa at April 16, 2008 03:17 AM