Nearly nine years past the expiration date of my last serious relationship. I know, I know; how miserably spinster-ish of me. But yeah, time flies when you're having...
um, fun? *insert mass amounts of background snickering here*
On the next form I fill out, in the occupation section I will be tempted to write "soul of forgiveness." Because once I move past the initial "o you black muthafucka" stage, I then come back to the original point. Which is - roles are played because of the pact souls made before even they come out of the womb; all shiny and new.
I think we both deserve an Academy Award.
I like to call pairings such as these "growing relationships." Ours was a study of shadow and light. Because we were direct reflections we would play out this insane love/hate see-sawing schematic. There was never an issue of me not being seen or appreciated in entirety. No. He knew exactly who I was, and I him. We shared the dark in-between matter of self-hatred. Many many sore spots from previous relationships.
And we jabbed! every one. I let it all unfold because...hell I'd signed up for it. I knew before he manipulated me into being his girlfriend that he needed fixin'. Heehee.
Clearly, so did I.
O the battles. Physical fights. Knives and verbal slights. Two gods on equal footing; always ready to go toe to toe. I had no idea how strong I was until I tussled with him. He taught me the fine art of war.
As little physical chemistry as we had, the attraction was strong. You couldn't fit a piece of parchment paper between we. We ate together, read together, slept together, went to school together, spent time alone...together. Laughed. Played. Cried. Learned. Taught. Explored. Danced. Sang. Shoot...everythang!
He gave me the framework for the perfect relationship. Proved there were others like me. Out there. I just had to remember how to bring them back.
My fellow sparring partner. You showed me how tough a diamond in the rough can be.
I survived you, so we could both begin to LIVE.
Posted by Lisa at April 15, 2008 08:48 PMI used to come here everyday - just to read and reflect. Life has become quite different for me and I only drop in...But, never am I disappointed by your words. When I am feeling nostalgic, I know that I can drop by and see exactly why I feel the way that I do. And reading this today, after thinking about my ex, I just feel so calm. This was simply beautiful
Posted by: cee at April 17, 2008 10:48 PMHey there Cee!
I'm glad you enjoyed. I always appreciated this dude's presence in my life; but now even more so do I realize how awesome he was.
Posted by: Lisa at April 21, 2008 01:31 AM