Spoke too soon. Maybe not so ripe. I've gone a bit green around my energetic gills. To this brave Nu world I am unaccustomed. I neglected to read or forgot the fine print. Now wondering - what does it profit one to reach Zion's gate, but lose her Self? Or at least her which I thought was me. She's gone now, and I mourn for her...sometimes.
Cognitive dissonance ensues. My soul knows this way is better; watching destiny manifesting through my ever watchful third eye. But the old me was comfortable...lovable in her own way. At the very least I was a damn good sleepwalker. Now I'm awake and everything's amazingly different...but nothing fits. Especially me. Who am I? Whose life is this?
No sooner than I think I've got it, then I find myself back at square 1001001100. Ridding myself of more well-hidden dross and learning this new math. A slow-moving (in)plosion; cyclical in nature. Feeling things are settled. Fairly content. Forward movement at steady pace. Then - more aftershocks, and still more debris to clear before I reach the foundation. Did I really sign this contract aeons ago? I think I...I guess I did. It fits but it doesn't. Nothing does.
nothing...nothing...nothing...no one's here. but me. and i just gotta...deal.
Posted by Lisa at October 29, 2007 03:44 AM