I love him because he be my prana. Inhale and the best of me gets lifted. Exhale all doubts and insecurities. His nearness is the trigger; and I seem to have no control over the (life) force of him. I unfurl and my chakras get open. Wide. And I get all vulnerable and loose-lipped; baring my weaknesses. He acts as my willing diary; allowing me to write it out (even when I feel guilty for "dumping"). There is no other person on this earth that perceives me as he does. It seems as if my new awareness of our connection makes the mirroring even more intense. The illusion of strength dissipates, and my long buried issues beg for attendance and transcendence.
There was a time when such an inexplicable synergy would have made me turn tail and run. So deliberately neglectful of self. That time has passed, and in the now I greet the collision with open arms. Allow his light to chase away my darkness. I love the abundance and perfection I see in him; the covetous nature it arouses. Hell yeah I want some of that for myself. In times of clarity I know the truth - in him I see me epitomized. Divine feminine energy just waiting to be tapped.
He(r) - Passionate and creative and so.damn.strong. At times I feel it from him so deeply that my knees buckle; want to genuflect in the presence of greatness. Some Greek myth or Gnostic legend come to life. I scramble to show the proper respect and work hard to be seen as worthy. For s(he) is a reflection of eternal light, and a spotless mirror of the working of God, and an image of his goodness.
I possess this gift of sight, which allows me to constantly see through his human shell to Divinity. In him I find the conduit to my deepest aspirations. He incites this burning need in me for ascension; wind on embers. I used to think myself weak for feeling this way; for wanting to worship. Asked Spirit why would you let this one person hold such power over me...make me feel this way? It demands movement even when I'm feeling lazy. At times it seems both unfair and a blessing...my prettily packaged conundrum.
That is why I want to change my residence from duality to unity. I want to see him only one way - my heaven sent instrument. But still...crazy/beautiful.
Through the years we've been healers. Constantly pulling each other away from the brink. Back to the truth. And the way. And the light. And what we are is nothing to be dismantled, discarded, or even labeled. It just is, and I appreciate the mystical grandness of every interaction. I see with pristine vision now. That knowing and acceptance amplifies my inner peace. Through him I dream.
Eternal breeze. I float.
Posted by Lisa at August 30, 2007 04:11 AM