August 23, 2007
armageddon complex
Horoscope for today:
You can dig your hooves deeply into the ground, and now as the Moon enters your sign, you'll have your chance. There are very specific things being asked of you, and you are eager to plant yourself on the ground and build structure and integrity into your life. But you are also looking far in the future to see where you are going. Letting others know what you think is the best course of action.
Like walking between two worlds, I told him. And it is. Trapped between 3 and 5. "Up here" colors are vibrant...they possess taste and smell. Even the simplest thing appears miraculous. I...vibrate. Resonate on an entirely different frequency. I feel...me. And I am so much more than the sum of my parts. It's awesome. But it gets lonely and I get frustrated because very few see things as I do. It saddens me and I descend. Plug back in. Start worrying and talking about mundane reality-based fuckery.
Over the past few days I'd been feeling really pissy about my life in general. Very "why me?" and duality-minded in the gloom and doom direction. This position chafed me to no end, as negative thinking is something that has got me into tons of trouble in the past. I have manifested shit you wouldn't believe. LOL
But I'm thinking maybe I got thrown into this mode on purpose. Like "hey here's your old life...the old Lisa. you can't straddle these worlds anymore; the portal is closing. so i am clearly presenting you a choice."
As if I didn't know. The Lovers and the Two of Cups didn't get left in the box for nothing.
Unity. My integration needs to be cemented. Regardless of how few I can "lift up" into this stratosphere, it's obviously meant for me to be here. The backpedaling and sporadic dozing off needs to be deaded posthaste. My purpose has been made very clear to me for the past few months, and it's time for me to man up and do my shit. Just be; regardless of lack of understanding or acceptance.
I kept getting all these lion messages thrown into my path today, so I thought I'd look into some lion medicine.
Lion is a totem of feminine power and strength. The male lion sits and boasts his beautiful mane while the lioness is out hunting, working, and feeding the pride.
The male lion is the protector of the pride, but he does not fight if he can avoid it. He would sooner bask on a rock as get into a brawl. Lion always tries a passive, calm approach before resorting to violence to protect what he loves. Lion knows that one must not underestimate the power of peace, and suggests that we release all our stress and frustration before making any rash decisions.
Lion teaches many lessons. He reminds us to examine our behavior to find flaws and weaknesses as well as strengths. He teaches us to keep our temper under control. He also teaches us the power of silent, unseen observation, just like Fox. And, most importantly, he teaches us the importance of family and of team work.
Mhm. I've been in deep talks with self about my role as a provider. I want a different life for my kids than what I had. Not that I wasn't happy (sometimes)...but it was still a life of lack. Having to do without. I want better for them (everyone in general). I'm now strong enough to hunt and gather the happiness of which we are all worthy.
I feel as if Spirit is saying, "Do you trust me now, or do I have to keep proving shit to you?" And I'm saying, "Yeah...I get it."
Now is the time for surrender and flow.
Posted by Lisa at August 23, 2007 08:48 PMThis post could have easily have been written for me. I continue to keep up with your blog Lisa but I haven't been posting much as far as comments. I was compelled today because after reading this I'm feeling like we are going thru many of the same things spiritually. That horoscope seems to have been meant for all us cappies because that was very much me last week. I woke up with a sense of clarity this morning. Reading this was confirmation that I'm now getting back on the right path. Thank you for putting it out there.
Bless!
Posted by: Feeps at August 27, 2007 12:34 PMI concur with Feepie (fellow capricorns unite) :). I, too, am finally strong enough to "hunt and gather the happiness of which we are all worthy". Being a lionness is not for the weak. It requires standing alone at times and using all of our inner strength before making any rash decisions. Now is the time.
Posted by: laniza at September 2, 2007 11:08 AMw00t! Capricorns rock. 
I read somewhere a long time ago that Caps are late bloomers. 3-0 ain't THAT late in the game...but I'm sure some hatemongers would say otherwise!
I've noticed that the more strength I gain, the LESS some seem to be feeling me. At first I took this as a personal slight, but I now I know better. Transformation can sometimes have a ripple effect on loved ones; if they aren't ready for the turbulence (and resulting urge to examine their own innards), they move aside. I can certainly respect that.
But shit...I ain't have that many friends in the first place. Thank jeebs I'm a loner! 
Hi Lisa,
I don't know who you are, or where you are but what you have written here is SO relevant to the way I am feeling. I have been' walking between two worlds' for a few weeks now. That exactly describes it. Also I have been realising that I have to leave behind the routines and habits of the old life if I am to grow. As soon as I had said that to myself, 'don't be frightened to go forward. I came across your blog, as if confirming my understanding. Wow, isn't the spirit wonderful?
Also other stuff, like transformation and others not understanding and being able to follow and being a lonely path, all of it.
I just wanted you to know how useful it had been. Sorry for the babble, I am really a very serious Capricorn of 62, so you see age doesn't matter, you still keep changing and moving forward, like a butterfly.
Regards Chrissie