...from that pedestal.
Years of connection tinted my concept of you. Rose rouge. I trusted you. Played roman candle when I spoke of my beloved. You seemed to understand, so...I trusted you. Spoke openly of hopes, fears, and insecurities. Never knowing they would be the weapons used to bring about destruction of mass amounts of respect. And kinship.
The motions we went through...so futile. But necessary.
january - we appreciate.
february - deviate from truth, but ignorance is bliss.
march - how could you not miss...this? me. a glimpse that should have set off a hunger in you to see. more. doublespeak of destiny, and neglect me for days, weeks, months, like...like the others. victim of groupthink. you remind me just enough to shake me.
april - awake...and i haven't even missed you. i've signed a non-compete agreement in your absence. inform you and wait for the lies that will attempt to push me back into a corner of acquiescence. denote the lack of passion and movement more to amuse myself with the response. a test. you assure me of the viability of your lower portion, and fail. to show me just why it is we're "meant." i realize you haven't changed, so the rain soon comes. showers bring...
may - flowers. lotus. petals open and now feeling worthy of the light. i hold you up to it and your translucence strengthens my resolve. you.dont.compare. knowing this, of course you cast shade. use my words to slash my achilles. fall from your pedestal as you grapple with my sense of self. force me to regress just to deal with you. effectively cut the lingering ties that bind me to this situation. i decline the role of savior. the onus is upon you.
Somnambulant living is how we allow ourselves to be shifted into situations that don't fit. Only realizing the dream is a nightmare at the middle or the very end.
That's why it's so damn important to stay awake.
june - blue moon soon....we shall see.
Posted by Lisa at June 1, 2007 04:12 AM