So I've got this pair of perfect SOTTP (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants)-type jeans. They were cheap, make me look super hot, and everytime I put the mfs on, some remarkable shit happens to me. But that ain't what I came over here to talk about.
Let's talk about my cousin, who is more or less my polar opposite in terms of personality. She's an "in the moment" type girl. That means she believes in "right now" type of men. And feels very strongly that opportunities for dick should be seized and rode to fruition. Heh.
I on the other hand seek awesome kissing skills, intellectual compatibility, and a non-physical sense of connection in even a cut buddy. Yeah...I'm picky. And at this age, I have every right to be. I'm very cut and dried about the whole relationship thing and very much in control of myself even when it comes to men I find highly attractive. I think my cousin perceives this as my being abnormally cold...and it unnerves her.
Last night was...fun; in a kinda unexpected manner. One of the boy cousin's friends caught a ride with us to the next club. As he's catching up to us on the way to the car, the girl cousin snickers. 'Cause you know...he and I had a brief dalliance last year (for the vocabulary-deficient it means we had this like-likeyou thing going on). And she just swears we are meant.
Whatever.
I mean yeah...I like the cat. He's right pretty, very quick-witted, and charming in a sweet way. And certainly not lacking in the down-there department (doNOT ask me how I know). But he.is.young. And I enunciated that in such a way that there can be no doubt that this is not a mere 2 or 3-year age difference. So between me feeling sliiiightly pedophilic and knowing I totally intimidated him, it was a bit of a bust. No big whoop - I'm a pro at platonic relationships.
Anyhoo, after leaving the second spot, we held young dude "hostage" and forced him to go to WF with us. We laughed a lot and I ate very little; which I was chastised about. But even in the midst of the fun, there were...undercurrents. Things said...you know?
We dropped him off at the boy cousin's house and I guess it's safe to say he...lingered. It was all very weird, because I could literally feel how much he wanted us to come in. Well really...me.
In the face of this, I made some inane excuse about the time.
Aw...y'all he was disappointed. I felt kinda bad.
As we're leaving, GC says, "He wanted you to stay Lisa."
I sigh a bit. "Yeah I know."
She proceeds to give me pointers on how exactly I can get cozy with young dude on the sneak tip.
"You get up to go to the bathroom and then you whisper to him to meet you there in like...60 seconds."
Ok yeah...no. As seldom as I get dick I'm still not THAT adventurous. And what's the point? There can be no future with he and I. So why get him even further mired in inadequacy quicksand by fucking him? I neither understand nor agree with it, but I do know the effect I have on men. I don't need another victim on my conscience.
I told girl cousin so, but she was having none of it. She launches into her "life is too short" lecture. I make all the appropriate agreement sounds. This seems to frustrate her, and she proceeds to tell me that I think way too much, that I'm totally clueless about men, and that I need to be "touched." Whatever the fuck that means.
Oh, I guess it means that I'm too closed off and I need to allow for like...human contact and shit. But again...whatever.
Contrary to her belief I know men very well. When you're the type of girl that has a lot of default male friends, you learn so much more than you would from a girlfriend standpoint. It's this knowledge that slows any impetuous steps I might take towards random penis. It's time for me to buckle down and build with someone worthy. And if that means a couple of holes won't be filled on a regular basis, then so be it.
I reiterated this to her for the millionth time, but she was not to be dissuaded.
"I know what it is. It's ------. (name omitted for...various reasons)
I laugh. No sense gettin her started on another diatribe. "The Futility of Having Standards" and shit.
She says bitterly, "Well you just...go...be with him then!"
That further amuses me, since there's so much impossiblity attached to that statement I can't even begin to tell you. I shuffle into the house shaking my head. She means well...in her own butchered way.
But I'll thank her not to be attempting to shove meaningless dick in my path.
Posted by Lisa at December 17, 2006 09:42 PM