I love you because...
You're the man I was waiting for; the one who made realize that...I was indeed waiting. And it's funny how those that had taken up so much of my emotional crawlspace became these lifeless, useless things...clutter. Suddenly nothing was more significant to me than the way you made me feel - more than self. beautiful. powerful.
Everything. You made me feel (joypainangerfrustrationlustjealousypassionconnectivityL.O.V.E.)...everything. That in itself was new for me; with the others I'd always been able to maintain a safe distance and remain objective about the things I felt. I never fully participated in the dance because nothing about them compelled me to do so. They led and I followed; rhythmlessly stumbled into...confusion, insecurity, doubt, lies, deceit, emotional miserliness...general bullshit.
But you....
I've always been clear about the way I felt about you. Loving you is knee-jerk...as natural and essential to my continued existence as oxygen. Only when I've attempted to stanch the loveflow have I been miserable; pitting rational self against the Lisa...that just wants to be happy. That just wants to love and have the favor returned. I've come to realize how important it is for me to love this way. This is the way. To love.
The way I want nothing from you but your presence in my life. The way I always feel you. The way I'm awestruck and amazed by your light-shine. The way I admire and respect you. The way I believe any skin you're in is perfect. The unconditional way.
The right way.
To have you...the way I want you would be more than the sum of my most heartfelt wishes. And sometimes I feel pretty damn ballsy; applying ink to blank sheet...telling the universe exactly what it is I need. But the law of attraction states that I can't manifest anything if don't speak it, dream it, and most of all feel worthy of it. And I do. Because I went off into my lonely corner and worked on self to feel that way; to know this way. I continue to work in hopes that you too will find me worthy of all you have to give. I want you to give it to me unreservedly...there's no fear in this. We are not afraid.
So you say you want that kinda love? Well guess what?
I'm here.
Posted by Lisa at September 26, 2006 12:22 AM